Siege and total war

I don't think that the soldiers in the north are not aloud to break down homes and kill the some innocent people in the south. Some of the southerners didn't have slaves and they shouldn't be killed if they are just living a normal life in a cottage with a couple of children. I think that it is not a better way for the southerns to surrender because some of the southerners were just people that were not in the war and they have never had slaves. Some Southerns.